PSI Annual Journal 2005-6

There are many ways, avenues or paths one can take through life; some of them are easily found, others hard to finish. In one's pursuit of hidden or interior answers, it usually requires more conscious effort to reveal directions best suited for your steps. Depending on one's personality and spiritual inclinations, we humans will often choose to look for answers down the path that are most readily available, most attractive, or the ones that will safely fulfill curiosity over risk. Today, as the warm spring beckons, I want you all to take a hike! Well, no, I invite you to begin, if you have not yet done so, your own interior journey towards discovering more about yourself, and to invite you to look more intuitively into what might be the meaning, inspiration, and purpose for your life.

A couple of caveats: First, if anyone, be they teacher, guru, therapist, or any sort of counselor states emphatically that the path towards finding oneself, finding inspiration, or finding God is an easy or effortless one, run! Save your money, time, energy and aspiration, for the journey towards wholeness, integration, and a more permanent sense of the sacred is a long, sometimes arduous trail; it might easily take a lifetime or two! Second, while I readily admit to having my own subset of assumptions around the importance of such a journey as it relates to enhanced classical spirituality, world theology, deeper mystical comprehension and the like, I am fully aware that not all of you share in this search as being a distinctly God-centered one. I ask those among us who do not share a need for a transcendent reference point or God, to use my statements and metaphors as steps to towards one's inner self; or higher self; as a personal path of inspiration, creativity, purpose or meaning.

Today, I invite you to start down the four classical paths by introducing some ancient tools, and then offer you some examples and explanations from my own personal odyssey through life. The idea of walking a mystical path, going on a spiritual journey, trying to reach within and beyond oneself has a long and rich religious history. As a very brief synopsis, we find these mystical and personal journeys in the myths of Egypt, China, and India, and all through the Western traditions as well. It could be considered a central fact of life; each of us is on a journey; as it states in words of Krishna found in the Bhagavad Gita: "Walking is not solely a means for getting somewhere; By whatever path persons approach ME, even so do I welcome them, for the paths they take in every direction are ultimately mine."

Path symbolism, taking or being on a pilgrimage of inner or sacred discovery, has its own long shelf of books in any esoteric library. In our world today, there is an extraordinary access to this information, once reserved for only the highest teachers or most advanced adepts, now can be readily found at Borders, Barnes & Noble or ordered from Amazon! It is so readily available that there is almost no excuse, information wise, not to be on some kind of quest!

There are four classical paths of the spiritual journey; found in the four Yogas of traditional Hindu practice; the four Noble Truths of Buddhism; the four-leaf clover among the Druids; the four seasons among the indigenous peoples, and the four paths of Creation Spirituality. For now, I will simply state that while religious orthodoxy in the West claims only three ways to wholeness, the more spiritual and mystical approach has four: four being known as the more balanced or complete approach.
One of the ways this four-part teaching is easily accessed is through spiritual tools such as the Tarot, one of the paths from antiquity. Wait a minute? Isn't that fortune telling nonsense? The answer is yes...And no.

As a focal point for meditation, or for opening up one's intuition, one can use almost any tool, image, technique. One can stare into a fish tank, stand on one's head, sit on a pole, lie on a bed of nails; you can do whatever you think that will bring you some insights! We humans are capable of doing a lot of preposterous things in our lives, thinking that somehow they will be good for us! Concerning using spiritual accessories or tools, we have a wide variety of focal points for our inner work: From gemstones to Runes, to crystal balls to pendulums, from horoscopes to rods, sticks and coins....In our tolerant and inclusive world view, whatever works for a person is permissible, as long as one uses it ethically and responsibly. Basically, the rule for finding or using any technique or spiritual tool is whatever your religious culture condones, chooses or makes available—from sweat lodges to vision quests, from novenas to shrine visitations, from Scriptural study to nature walks, dreams to diet, all can be used to further one's inner awareness, appreciation or affirmation of the mystery and miracle of life.

The proper or guided use of the Tarot transcends and deepens the awareness of the meandering of our psyche and the cards act as an intuitive metaphor for the inward journey to the core realities of God or oneself. In the Tarot, and in mysticism in general, there are these four paths a person can walk that will lead them to further and deeper understanding. They are: Experience; Knowledge; Truth; and Love.

In the Tarot, these pathways are symbolized as wands, pentacles, swords, and cups, or if you prefer, clubs, diamonds, spades and hearts. You see, there is a lot more to playing cards than bridge, poker, and gin rummy! Each of the suits in a card deck has a design or a symbolic value attached to it. Each suit, according to this school of ancient wisdom, has a vital task or will take you on a positive saunter through a particular facet of life. This way, path or focus will be a way of being that has to be learned or mastered before your life can be full, balanced or complete.

The first way, the path of experience, wands or clubs: As a general rule, most human beings, at some time or another, follow this most common or universal path. Here our life experiences, if sufficiently learned, lead us to some modicum of wisdom and/or common sense. This is the area of life where we have to exercise will and self control. Here we have the school of hard knocks, or when receiving a kick from life is as good as a boost! It is, without a doubt, the most painful, and sometimes the most effective way to learn life's lessons. Here we have the addiction cycle, or the statement that I have been down so deep and so long, that the ground looks up to me!

The second way of the Tarot, the way of knowledge, or pentacles or diamonds, is also common in our modern world. But when pursued alone, it is likely to be expansive, wide ranging, but often superficial—covering many surfaces without reaching the depths. It involves us in logic, the exercise of analytical reason, and collecting information, even to the saturation point! While condoned and well accepted as a cultural norm, we humans engage in discussing and debating its relative merits in an exhaustive, ad nauseam way. This is the media hound, the glutton for information, falsely thinking that if you know about something it is as good as internalizing its teachings for you.

The third way, the way of truth, swords or spades, is the continual seeker; it is often arduous, and carries the person far and wide, both within and without. It usually involves rigorous training, physical disciplines, apprenticeships, and other demands. Here we find the New Age junkie and the sincere, but perpetual student; the practitioner and the impostor—just because you have practiced or rehearsed it well, it does not mean you understand it.

The fourth way, cups or hearts, is the way of love; the way of the heart or devotion. It is the one generally recognized as being the most saintly, selfless, empty and poor. It is the leading monastic approach in the West. It relies on veneration; on building relationships, and on service. Here we have the monk; the nun; the devotee; It is a way or path that advocates the transmutation of desire as a path toward self or god-realization, However, we also can find here the self-sacrificial person, the martyr, and the person who loses themselves in others.

Obviously, these descriptions are highly simplified, but it would take hours for a full disclosure of its depths, and years of embodiment to learn all its wisdom. Because this older way of the Tarot, like the Kabbala, and the I Ching before it, are arcane and confusing, I will switch now to some modern steps and metaphors.... Ones I hope that any commuter, traveler, walker or itinerant can relate to and comprehend. As I have devised it, there are four ways to travel through life, each having the capacity for teaching us certain truths about ourselves; about the nature of faith; wisdom; understanding; awareness, etc. Each way contains a gift for us; insights, gleanings, and ways of unlocking the essential mysteries of who and what we are as human beings. Each way leading us to a greater affirmation and appreciation of the wonder and awe that can be found inside each of us. The four modern paths are:
The Wanderer--representing the path of experience and reconciliation
The Nomad--representing the path of knowledge and learning
The Sojourner--representing the path towards searching for the truth
The Mendicant--representing the path towards selflessness and love

These four ways are also chosen by people based on their personality, their spiritual inclinations, their talents, and their particular emphasis on life. An example would be if the person is a teacher/researcher, the path of knowledge is most familiar and attractive; if the person is a natural caregiver, then the path of love could be most suitable or familiar for them. It is important to state that no path is superior, better or worse, each contains lessons, insights, advantages and challenges. Ultimately, the deeper one goes in one path, the side roads and alleyways that connect us to the other paths appear, and will converge, and lend you their deep insights and wisdom, too.

Who is the wanderer? The wander in us asks the question, "How do I survive in this world? What is necessary for me to do or to change?” The wanderer comes down to us through our Western religious tradition in the figure of Abraham, who the Scriptures called, “the wandering Aramaic,”
who bravely sought out a way to avoid cruel fate, and the capricious nature gods of his ancestors, and to find an abiding faith in one supreme God who became the Yahweh or God of the Hebrew Scriptures. We also are given a vignette of Jesus as the wanderer in the desert, right after he was baptized by the Holy Spirit—that is, acknowledged as an inspired man, teacher and avatar, and sent out to wander in the desert where he would be tempted by the Devil—also known as worldly, selfish needs, desires, ambitions, and powers.

The wanderer is someone who most often learns from tests and trials—remains fixed or stubborn until someone or something comes along with a painful wake up call that creates havoc, turmoil, and the need to turn their life around. The wanderer (wands or clubs) is not someone who is usually interested in the esoteria of religion; just sees it as a social norm. Only when their life turns problematic, and the striving seems futile, does the wanderer comes back from his personal parabolas, dead ends, and their business of chasing unrealistic tangents, only then do they return to a place of solace and faith or self discovery. Another way of looking at the wanderer in us is that he or she finds God by looking in the rearview mirror. God has been tailgating them for some time—and finally they let God run into them!

There are times when I have brashly gone down the road of experience, only to find that I have been the Fool, ready to walk off the cliff! I was not sure what I would find, nor what I was willing to leave behind. Struggling with trying to find how I fit into society, which cultural image to follow or whose style to copy or to find out what do people expect of me. Predictably—known to everyone but me, I found myself in a psycho-social ditch. All I could do was to climb out, backtrack, and pray for which way I should go to find myself. Because this is such a universal human experience, it might explain why the song, Amazing Grace, has such universal appeal, as a song for those lost wanderers.

The nomad (pentacles or diamonds) comes down the path next. And this is the kind of peripatetic traveler who is always looking for answers, and believes that if only I can know enough, I will be happy and secure. Trekking from school to school, book to book, they adopt knowledge as salvation; yet, the nomad doesn't realize that he or she is looking for themselves which cannot be found by logic or rational intelligence alone. Here is the perpetual student; the observer; the philosopher; the scientist and the secular humanist who is lead by their theories and afraid of their doubts. When they do find an answer, they try to apply that same answer everywhere they go, and it becomes for them a narrow path, or a convoluted circuit. They often settle for good ethics and yet remain spiritually unsure and unduly ready to discard any conflicting thoughts or beliefs. If what they hear or what they are exposed to doesn't personally compute or make sense in their rational world, they are quick to discard it. The Nomad is represented by the old Unitarian joke about going to the discussion about heaven.

It wasn't until my last year in theological school, that I became a UU. It was an unknown, and frankly an unwelcome possibility! That is because the only previously Unitarian minister I had known was a renegade egotist who eventually became a felon and was finally disbarred or defrocked (gun running and pedophilia). He prided himself on never needing to use the word, God, much less believing in one! He told everyone about his high IQ, but offered little if any pastoral care or empathy. He installed a swimming pool under the church, kept pet iguanas running around, had stuffed animals in the pews, lived in a railroad car, never threw out a newspaper, and never showered!

So you see, when my classmates and I had a long discussion about which denomination would suit me best, I was chagrined! Since most of my peers had not done the depth of exploring that I had, and I knew that I was really very uncomfortable as a Protestant moral judge, focusing my sermons on morality and rights and wrongs, I did not know which group would take me! Once I found out that the UU’s did indeed accept spiritual misfits like Emerson, Thoreau, and Whitman, I said to myself that here I could deal with skepticism and doubt, and emphasizing my intellect, even though I knew it was incomplete, it would be comfortable for me, and would be easier than playing judge. I figured there had to be some room in Unitarian Universalism even for me!

The next traveler along the path is represented by the sojourner (swords or spades). This type of person delves deeply into themselves, and their peregrinations lead them to various teachers, gurus, and adepts where they take up residence for a long while. Theirs is a desire to know something deeply; and they are held as a captive apprentice until that lesson is gleaned. Then they move on to the next discipline, training, ashram or monastery. The sojourner is the modern mystic and prophet who follow intently an inner call to a yet unknown destination, trusting that the truth as they come to know it, will lead them to a direct understanding of God and/or their selves.

They employ all these techniques, systems, and approaches to their lives, which can make these people appear unduly complex, and their personal lives very demanding. These trainings and mystical experiences can build bridges or barriers to understanding people and the world they realistically live in.

I can remember 20 years ago, going before the UUA Fellowship committee, and being interviewed more recently by the head of the Dept. of Ministry. The Fellowship Committee are the 14 people who decide whether you are properly prepared, screened, and ready or even worthy of becoming a UU minister. After three years and a second master's, a year's internship, a full psychological assessment, and other requirements, I had to present a 15 minute sermon and be quizzed by many experienced ministers on everything from history to theology, from ethics to social justice convictions. They were amazed that I was so well versed and experienced in religious practice, and had explored so many groups and approaches in such depth. But they failed me anyway! I was too new to being a UU, and they recommended another year of internship and experience. It was an invaluable ordeal and the next year I was given a green light to pursue a placement.

A few years ago, as I was starting the interim ministry training, the new department head heard about my life odyssey and its many journeys within and without, and remarked that I am the most inner directed minister he had ever met! I thanked him for acknowledging my complex and varied journey.... But I also have to admit to it being a hazardous assessment, as I have frightened off many congregations, as being too spiritual for them! So currently this spiritual vagabond is delighted to be with you another year, and identifies himself to the outside world as a kind of "Metaphysical Johnny Appleseed."

The last of the travelers is the mendicant, who is represented by the path of cups, hearts, the path of love, devotion, and service. I use the image of the mendicant, who is not a beggar, but someone who has reduced their human needs to just the essentials, and yet might still feel spiritually poverty-stricken. The mendicant is challenged by the emptiness one can feel without an active expression or focus for love in their lives, which can be a source of significant pain or hold feelings of profound incompleteness.

The mendicant question is found in how is it that a person is to love? Are there ways to love that are better? More exalted, more selfless, serene, and secure? How do I fill myself with love for God or for others? How do I empty myself so I can fill myself with concern for others? The mendicant will migrate towards rituals, prayers, ceremonies and service that are more devotional.

Mendicants seek to go beyond the conscious mind and move into a free and open heart. They seek an inner understanding and an outer expression of that affection that offers themselves and others a sense of hope, health, happiness and release. This traveler is not very concerned with theology or being analytical; they are on the path for emotional reasons. Theirs is a need for companionship, for attaining or experiencing a healing parental or spousal relationship or presence in their lives—some blessed assurance that all will be well.

My spiritual pilgrimage as a mendicant took me into training as a spiritual director, and worship leader. I was compelled into it by my feelings of disillusionment and dissolution. I was getting disillusioned by how ineffective my ministry had become at ushering change in my congregation and in all my attempts at supporting spiritual growth in that community and social justice in the outside world. In short I was broken-hearted and burned-out. When the humanists in the church forced me to resign, I lost everything—my home, my marriage, my career. I had hit bottom and had to rebuild everything.

Knowing that I had to be true to myself and dedicated to my sense of God as the only thing I could trust, if I was going to remain a minister, I had to come back to the ministry heart first, acknowledging my wounds and my wonders, and to be filled with a devotion and dedication to my highest sense of what is possible, what is right, what nurtures, uplifts, heals and sets straight my own brokenness, and the pain I see in our world. I am well into this renewal, and I know I have at least a lifetime to go.

Where is my home base? Probably as the sojourner, but I am open, listening and learning more from my heart more than ever before. I earnestly encourage your journeys into self-discovery, into God, into having a more purposeful and meaningful life. Whichever path you choose, trust that it will be the right one for you. When there is a need to learn from other directions and pathways, you can give yourself permission to change direction, alter your course, and find a new approach to answers—just do not allow yourself to get stuck, comfortable, or be arrogant or smug.

We are all called to travel; to find our right path for us to walk—as the Buddhists and the Hindus teach us, to follow our Dharma—the direction in which our deep self or our souls need to go. You see, Life is quite a journey... Don't be afraid of getting dirty or choosing a steep road! And remember, just as those great theologians of my childhood recommended to me every week, Dale Evans and Roy Rogers, I say, happy trails to you!

PSI Symposium Annual Journal 2005-6