PSI Annual Journal 2001

The class that Dot is speaking to today does not have the same background as her usual college classes. This one is the sociology department of a large college and many in the class seem to be either indifferent of actually hostile.

Someone laughed. "You know who it is."

"No, I don't know," the professor answered.

"I was just here last week," Dot replied, referring to her visit to her group of friends. "My last time."

"Oh, you're a good friend of Shirley's."

"The last time here."

"Oh! Good to have you here. Could you identify yourself for the class?"

"Yes. My name is Dorothy. I was Shirley's first partner. And this is the last time I'm coming to speak to a group. I'm afraid to come in December because I'm being born in December fifteenth. I might get my nerve up, but at this point, no, I don't want to do anything in December. So I'm going to be born in Morocco and I came to earth last week, and I talked about this to the people in my group because they've been interested in my evolution.

"I died on July seventeenth in 1988, and I was the one with the cancer.

"And it's really been a very interesting experience because right away I came up through the tunnel of light – actually I was looking forward to dying so it was no problem for me. I could see them all. At first they were a little shadowy and I could see the forms. And when I talked about it for the very first time Shirley could see it, too.

"And it's true. We're all around you, but it's a totally different energy and so you don't see us. You don't feel us—most of the time, I mean. Some people do. Shirley's been places where she couldn't stand the heaviness of all the spirits, but you have to be really sensitive to feel us. Most of the time you don't feel us at all.

"But this dimension isn't up there. Heaven isn't up there. It's just that it's all around you, but it isn't. I don't know how to explain it. You'll have to find that out when you come here. But I really have had a great time here, but now I'm ready to go back.

"So while you're still on earth think about what you believe because whatever you believe is what you're going to get when you die – when you come to the spiritual plane or heaven. So if you believe it's going to be beautiful and you're going to have a wonderful time, then it is going to be beautiful. If you think it's a big nothing then it's going to be a big nothing. It's going to be whatever you expect it to be. And that's very important because there's an awful lot of people on earth right now, and people who have died, who thought very negatively about the whole thing or else didn't think about it at all – that's what they have and it's really a shame because it can be great.

"But my biggest thing here – the thing I really wanted to do – and I thought about it before I died – long before I died – was that I wanted to visit other universes. I believe in reincarnation. I know we reincarnate because I'm coming back. I wanted to visit other universes and see what they were like and now was my chance. So in your time – I spent a year and a half of your time. It doesn't feel like anything to me. You don't have a sense of time at all, so it's really hard to talk about it, but I'm trying to help you relate to me in what I'm talking about – and I know it was a year and a half because Shirley said it was a year and a half and she knows when I came back. And I went to different universes because I wanted to see what life was like.

"But it was very interesting and that was my thing so and I did some other things, too. And I came back to earth to visit and to talk to college classes and to different places where Shirley lectured and also just talked to friends. And I just kept telling everybody what it was like.

"And a lot of things that happen here are very important to you. For instance, when you first come you have to rest because you have to leave the earthly life behind you. The resting is individual. You don't know what's going on unless the people on earth keep thinking about you and calling you. And then it can be very distracting, but everyone here leaves you alone and you need that rest. The average period of rest is about three months.

"Just before I rested they showed me my records and then after I rested they showed me my records in more detail. And it isn't always the same for everybody looking at your records. My records looked like pages on a TV set, but maybe that's kind of how I expected them to look and be presented to me."

"You could see them on video?"

"Oh, yes. It was like looking at TV. The pages – they kept turning them for different aspects of my life that were important. But they don't tell you what to do. The spirit guides let you look and you know what's going on when you see your life in front of you, especially certain aspects of it."

"Okay," the professor said, "we have an opportunity to ask some questions."

"You said you were going to be incarnated, right?" a student asked.

"Yes."

"Does your husband choose to be incarnated as your son?"

"Yes. My husband died in 1993, and originally in our records – everybody has their life existence records. You know that means the whole span of your existence not just that particular life. He's supposed to be the parent and I'm supposed to be the child and he wants to work it out, too. And I feel I can't go on in my spiritual growth and development until I work it out. I had to go to a higher court here and ask permission to change the record because I wanted to be the parent because I've been here five years longer than he has. And I want to come back to earth first so that I can get going on this. So they agreed.

"And I asked the permission of my parents to be a couple of lifetimes ago when we were all here, so it's all been settled. I asked, ‘in case I hadn't worked it out in this life, can I be your child in the life after this one?' And they said yes. So—see, you usually pick your parents, but sometimes your parents pick you. But it's for a reason, you know. You've known at least one of them before. Maybe both of them. And you pick them for a reason. But you have to figure out the reason. I'm not doing my fortune telling today. Does that answer the question?"

"Yes," the student replied.

"Are there any others?"

"I'm surprised at you," Dot told the students. "How many times do you get a chance to talk to somebody that is dead? You know."

"You've spoken of how you've known your husband in four past lives. Well, what is it that is reincarnated? Your spirit; your soul?" a student asked.

"My spirit," Dot replied.

"Well, do you find that your spirit travels in circles with other groups of spirits other than your parents and husband and ones like that that you've come in contact with?"

"You mean ones that I've known before?" Dot asked.

"Right. Do we come in contact with the same groups of people throughout our different lives?"

"Yes, but not always the same time though. The group that I was in – that the professor and Shirley are in right now – well, when I was alive we were told who was going to find us and who was going to leave and for two years we were a special group that we had been in a previous lifetime – a long time ago, in southern France – a secret society. And we had to be that group again to solve a problem because we messed up back then. Yes. But, yes, and lots of times you know that you've known somebody before. You meet somebody and you just feel something right away whether it's like or dislike. You knew them before. Instant. You know an instant feeling?

"Did that happen to you?" Dot asked a student who nodded in assent. "Well, you knew them before.

But don't forget. You may feel it and they may not. You don't know. If you want to ask them that's okay. But what I'm saying is the other person doesn't always have the same feeling."

"I have a question," the professor said. "You have said that you are on what might be called level –"

"Three," Dot interjected.

"And that there are other levels," the professor continued. "That there are one, two, three levels."

"I don't count one and two," Dot told him. "I mean one is people that didn't cross over"

"Okay. One is not crossing over. Two is something between levels that is not quite clear."

"Oh, well, it is to me," Dot replied.

"Well, could you tell us?"

"Well, two is those who are – they're not ready for level three. That's all there is to it because they haven't grown enough at all. They've simply existed for their own pleasure. They are just not ready. You have to be ready for each level."

"Is there help going on in level two for those people?" the professor wondered.

"It's their choice."

"Oh, so they may be there sort of in isolation."

"It's their choice when they're on earth – I can't say they've prepared themselves unless you say they're prepared themselves unknowingly. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"In a way."

"I mean, I used to be much more advanced than I was in this life. I went backwards in several lives. The trouble with being human is that you can be too human." Dot laughed. "I mean, I used to be a spiritual advisor, a sorcerer. I was very advanced and I got these human feelings and I just went backwards."

"Oh, so there's regression."

"Oh, yes! It's entirely possible. Being human is a bummer sometimes. But it's the best way to learn your lessons. It's much better than studying because studying will take you forever and ever.

"Oh, you know, that reminds me. I should tell them about when I tried to find God. Yes. It really wasn't my desire when I came here. It wasn't my intention, one of my goals to find God. But in a way I was curious enough that I wondered if I could find God. And just where and what God was. So I decided, this one time, to set out and try and find God. I can say I went and went and went. But I can't explain to you exactly – it was like going through time and dimension. Ha! I can't explain how I did it, but anyway I went and went with intentions. Intention gets you a lot of places. And I came to a wall. Not a brick wall. But I came to a wall. I came to a barrier. I couldn't go any further. And I asked and I was told I wasn't ready for the answer. So, that was it."

"So it must mean that beyond that wall there would be other levels closer to God."

"Well, you have to work your way up. Eventually you become one with God, but it's a long fight. It's a long tough road to hoe.

"And also the aspect of love comes in there. It's a different kind of love. And you have to – you don't learn it. You feel it. And it comes with your spiritual growth. It's not like loving your parents or your boy friend or your girl friend. It's not that kind of a love. It's a love – I just felt it once when we were doing a certain rescue. My feeling for the spirit was so overwhelming. I just felt it for like thirty seconds once. And Shirley said that she felt it when I was dying. Like for thirty seconds or a minute. You are it always. Then you will really be advanced, but not on this level."

"You've spoken of past lives. Do you have any memories of past post lives, of like being where you are now?"

"Oh, yes. You remember everything when you get here."

"So, you've done all this before?" the professor asked.

"Oh, yes. Many times."

"And is it possible when once you reincarnate again to regress to even a lower level?"

"Oh, heaven forbid!" Dot exclaimed.

"To get stuck on a lower level?"

"Yes. Well, not get stuck…because the body dies eventually."

"But come to level one?"

"No. No. I wouldn't do that. No!"

"Once you cross over?"

"I don't think I would regress that much. And besides in this life, although by the time I'm five I'm going to forget why I came, I hope that the discipline I receive in this family will keep me on the straight and narrow so that I take care of what I want to take care of in this life.

"But you eventually forget things. Lots of children remember the last life, especially, when they are little. But as they get to be four, five and six they forget it. And the birth process is kind of like a door closing. Well, can you think of just what a mess your life would be if you remembered every life you ever lived and all the times in between? It would be a total mess!"

"But how far back would that go?"

"I came from a star."

"Ah!" the professor exclaimed. "So this is sort of like transmigration. In other words, what we don't realize here on earth is that this evolutionary process is involving a lot more than just earth. That you were on another star at one time. You came to earth to visit and then went through several incarnations."

"And then became human," Dot interjected.

"And then became human," the professor repeated. "I see."

"But also, there's a lot more than people think. I mean, people get all upset and say, ‘how can there be so many spirits?' There can't, but there can. And not only that. There's so many because there's so many to begin with plus the ones that die all the time. I mean, thousands die every day. When Africa has a famine, like that last big famine, fourteen thousand children were dying a day. So, you know, there's so many more than people can imagine."

"What were you before you were human?" a student asked.

"Energy."

"When do you remember first coming here?"

"I don't remember coming from a star, but when I got to the spirit plane this time and I saw my records and I did – besides the records of this last life, I saw after I rested, my lifetime records because I wanted to. Oh, I was a very hairy human being the first time. But that doesn't mean that everybody was. I mean, some people have only been here once. It depends on you. If you want to work at it. This is work." Dot laughed. "This is work here, believe me. But not for everybody. Some people can come here and be rich and lie around on a couch all day. Where does it get them? Sooner or later they're going to have to go through the process of growing spiritually, lovingly. Whatever words you want to use. But that's what it is. The whole thing is a growth process."

"So being on earth is a great potential – a great potential for growing."

"It's a lesson," Dot answered.

"More rapidly than on plane three perhaps. If you come back to earth you have a potential for developing much more rapidly."

"If you plan it that way. You plan your life before you come, but you give yourself choices. It doesn't mean that you have to stick to your plan either. But if you plan to just do a little bit, you're not going to get very far.

"This is the big thing with me right now. When I get this resolved I'll really be able to speed up my growth. That's how I feel."

"So even on the other side, on plane three, you were describing to us a little earlier how wonderful it was. That you can do so many different things that we can't do here. That you are in a sort of mind-set virtually that allows you to do different things. But still you have a desire to move on, to go toward a higher level; toward God," the professor told Dot.

"Oh, yes. But I do. Not everybody does."

"So some of those on the other side on level three might just be enjoying themselves, not really wanting to go further?"

"Well, no, it's kind of like they may feel that they overdid it in their last life and they're not in a rush. I'm in a rush."

"Don't forget we're all different. And we are a composite of everything that ever happened to us. Yes?"

"And you may have been just pure energy out there on that star."

"I was."

"I wonder if there was any consciousness there or just pure energy."

"I never thought to ask. I'm so concentrated on this situation that it's like I'm a horse with blinders on. When I get this finished I will go on. I hope to have a much broader perspective, but I feel I have to accomplish this first. I'm getting very anxious."

"What about the people on the other side who have a lot of problems?"

"Well, there's a lot in spirit who really don't want to come back right now simply because they think it's so messy and there's so much greed and they feel bad about it. And there's others that are coming back anyway. But, no, I'm going to get my problem solved so – and my country isn't that messy. It's quite rigid. The country I'm going to be from. And see, all of you have tried different life styles and to be advanced enough you have to already have gone through situations where you have been starving, motherless, homeless, from backward countries – all kinds of tings. I mean, it isn't a one-shot deal at all. It's just that you don't remember these things. You have to go through all of this. You've been many different people, many cultures, many colors. You don't just come and be the same old thing all the time.

"Oh, I want to tell you one little thing that I forgot because sometimes when I'm talking to students this comes up. I want to tell you about suicide in case you have any friends like that. Suicide is a cop-out and when you come to earth to live a life, you've planned it before you've come. And there's a reason for it. And so, if you commit suicide it's a cop-out on that plan and you have to come back to earth and live that type of life all over again. So it's better to get it over with and try to see it through rather than to commit suicide."

"How does one go about finding out what the forgotten purpose is in this life?"

"It's tough. Yes! I knew my purpose, but I didn't know my purpose until about five years before I got sick. Then I realized what I was supposed to be doing all that time. But one thing is that when something happens to you – significant – think about why it happened to you. Think about what happened and then why it happened, and how it's changed your life. And you may catch on. A lot of people don't think; they just keep plunging right ahead. But if you do that, if you follow through on that, you'll be surprised.

"And another thing. If you are a person who doesn't go with the flow, who fights city hall, as they say, all the time, maybe it wasn't meant to be that way because you didn't pick it that way, but you are suddenly bound and determined because you have this stubborn streak in you and you don't realize that you've going against your plan. It's staring people right in the face then they don't see them. It isn't that you have to draw on yourself every minute. That's why old people are so smart though all of this, and they've learned what it is all about. And they can look back and see all these things and now they can see them in other people; in younger people. Grandparents – talk to them because they're a lot smarter than you are. And when everybody's young – I forget who it was – was it Mark Twain who said he was smarter than his father when he was twenty-two? Well, anyway, life is one big lesson, but you picked it. Now, what are you going to do with it? Okay?"

"Does anyone have any questions?" the professor asked.

"There aren't any questions here," Dot said. "Everybody's thinking, but nobody's talking."

"I know they're loaded with questions."

"I'm not going to come back again. I'm going to be busy."

"I know. This is the last time."

A student asked, "You mean everyone has a purpose in life and you have to find it somewhere on earth."

"Yes. You're here for a reason."

"Well, what's your advice on how to find that reason?"

"Well, first of all, I said that when something happens to you, that is significant, it may not be significant to somebody else, but something happens. What was it? Kind of dissect it. What was it? What was it all about? What is the reason for it? How is it affecting you? How has it changed you? Because there is a reason for everything."

"Do you believe in fate?" another student asked.

"Fate?" Dot laughed. "That's another word for how the whole thing was planned. I mean it isn't fate. It isn't something that just happens. There's reasons for things. You plan your life before you come, basically, and you have choices along the way. But you forget what you planned. You're born and by the time you're five years old, and you start school, you don't remember all that and now the things that happen to you – why did they happen? How do they affect you? What's the reason for them? You have to look at all these things yourself and decide and when you know the answers, then you have grown. And you go on to the next step. Because you planned your life. Nobody else did."

"You have to do it here. You have to plan it here. See, I had the choice before I came to this last life – when I was here on the spiritual plane, I planned that if I did not work out my problem with my husband in this life that I would get very sick and die. And I would get a very bad illness so that I would have to force myself to get better and work things out. That's what I thought.

"Well, when I got it I talked to one of my guides through Shirley, and my guide told me that I had planned this to happen if I didn't work things out with my husband which I had not done. And I thought, "I'll fight it and I'll get better and I'll work things out. But a month later it was so horrendous that I said I can't. And then a couple weeks went by and I said, "I give up." And I died two and a half months after I got it. Because I gave up. Because at that point I decided that I would come back again and that will be my entire focus. That will be working that problem out and getting rid of it. And so, that's what I'm doing."

"A final question."

"There's no final question ever," Dot said, "you know what I mean? We all have questions forever and ever."

"Well, I was wondering if there were places of worship on the other side."

"If you want it."

"I knew you would say that. Now on earth we have Congregationalists, and Presbyterians, and all kinds of people who worship, but I gather that people may gather on the other side in the same way if they are so disposed."

"That's right. If you want it you can have it," Dot replied.

"It almost seems flippant."

"It's the way I put it."

"So it's whatever we would want."

"That's because for me it's just one big celebration. That's why it sounds flippant. I love it."

"And yet you're still coming back," the professor said.

"Right. Because my spiritual growth is so important to me. When I got sick with the cancer my guides said to me, "Picture the scales of justice. Your spiritual is weighted way down and touching the ground. The other scale with physical and mental and emotional is completely off balance.' Because I put so much emphasis on my spiritual I ignored the rest. So I'm coming back and I'm going to be balanced and I'm going to pursue my goals, and I'm going to be spiritual in that I am in this rigid discipline of being a female in a Moslem world. In Morocco. Believe me."

The professor said, "It's going to be terrible."

"No. It isn't going to be terrible because that's the way I'm going to get through what I'm supposed to do. I'm going to have a son. Not a daughter. A son. A son is very important. And I'm going to be important because I'm going to have a son. See. I am going to be his mother, but I am going to be disciplined. I'm going to be religious, but it's all going to be discipline and it will get me through because I will forget why I am there. Yes, I'm flipping around because I love it. I'm coming back to reality. Because if you knew me you'd know I was kind of –"

"That way," the professor finished for her.

"And nobody has another question. Last chance."

"A quick question," the professor said. "The reality you're speaking of makes it seem like it's wholly subjective; it's up to the individuals. I can't help but think that there must be some kind of rules."

"It's this level. When I get to the next level it will be different. But it's this level. This level you can have what you want, whatever you expect. That's it. And that's the way it is. But you also put into the lovely existence looking at your records. You, yourself, decide looking at your last life what you've done. What maybe isn't so great. They don't tell you. You see it all. You know. And you plan your future. That you have to do, but they don't tell you what it is you have to do because you know when you see this. If you don't care about that yet; if you don't care about your growth or your spirituality of whatever you want to call it, then you're not going to plan a very difficult future if you decide to come back to earth. But if you want to get on with things and you want to grow, then you are. So the whole thing is up to you. Free will is absolutely THE THING! It's your decision."

"Some of us have been reincarnated man times, but some have been here only once. Where do they come from it they are just coming here now?"

"Sometimes they're extra-terrestrials. Sometimes they have been on the spirit plane all this time, and sometimes they've just arrived from another planet."

"Are you saying they are not human spirits?"

"No, they become human. Well, there are different—oh boy! It's a different development. That's all. On earth it's one development—type of development. It's just not the same – your house, your body. We're not the most advanced there is. In fact, as far as earth is concerned, it's pretty sad about how much people on earth could know, but they're so stubborn about how they go about learning a lot of things, especially scientists. It's too bad because everything is known. Everything is out there waiting for you to get the information – from the universe, so to speak. It's just the way man goes about things, but there's different forms of development for the spirit. I don't know if that answered it.
"It's hard to explain some of this. And I don't know every single answer because there are some things that I have never tried to find out about. I could know anything I wanted to know. It's possible in spirit to find out anything you wanted to find out. It's just that why do I care about every fact there is? I don't. I'm interested in what I'm interested in.

"I don't see any hands out there," the professor said as he addressed the students.

"I don't think they were too eager anyway. Maybe they're a little reticent about this whole thing."

"Yes. Well, we thank you for coming. We appreciate it very much and we wish you well in the next life you're coming to."

"Yes. I wish myself well, too. It will be different, but I will have forgotten all this by the time it's important though. It was a pleasure," Dot said.

PSI Symposium Annual Journal 2001